Monday, August 29, 2011

Feeling Blue

I feel blue tonight, I look at her picture and wonder what she did today, what are options to do there? I have absolutely no clue, did she play? does she get read to, learn songs? I am not sure, I don't know her daily routine.  I call her my daughter but I have no idea if she laughs out loud or quietly.  Does she have a natural artistic ability or is she a problem solver.  Will she like her hair up, down, braided...is she loud or soft spoken.  I want her here, I want to know her, I am tired of being in love with my thoughts of her. Waiting sucks, it is gut wrenching and I hate it.  My husband was blue this weekend his thoughts were, yeah it sucks for us, but we know we are going to be with her, she has no idea she has a mommy and daddy waiting, does she lay awake at night thinking no one ever comes to take me, does she worry no one wants her, talk about gut wrenching, my girl could be crying tonight thinking that all her friends leave and they get celebrations but she never gets to...that SUCKS. I HATE waiting but more so I HATE her not knowing.  Please WH call me tomorrow with a court date, call me...but more important tell her, give her hope, let her know she will be the one celebrated soon. 
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5 comments:

  1. UnknownAugust 29, 2011 at 10:34 PM

    I'm so sorry. It is so hard to wait. Here's to hoping you are on your way to meet your little girl soon and that all of you find peace as you journey to be together. Hang in there...

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  2. Scott and KalaAugust 29, 2011 at 11:03 PM

    Hang in there! Soon you will be posting all about her. I can't wait to hear about her. Thinking of you! -Kala

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  3. JennyAugust 30, 2011 at 3:35 AM

    Im so sorry guys. It sounds like agony. Hope you and she get good news soon!

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  4. AnonymousAugust 30, 2011 at 5:44 AM

    Wish I could say something inspirational, but you're right - that sucks. I, too, hope WHFC calls you today so we can all hear stories of what she's like soon.

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  5. KAugust 30, 2011 at 5:39 PM

    I have found that the only way I can deal with the wait between referral and court date is to try not to think about the kids in Ethiopia. I haven't printed out their pictures, haven't bought any stuff for them, and correct anyone who refers to them as my kids. That probably sounds harsh, but I have to keep an emotional distance, or I will lose my mind.

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