Saturday, February 25, 2012

adopting again?

I have always wanted a big family, picturing the family dinners, playing together in the park...all the dreamy stuff, no worries I am well aware of reality, different personalities, what all I would have to make to have that family dinner (every night), the fighting, crying...
Duane and I have probably had one of the easiest adoption processes out there, while it felt at times like hell, it was very easy compared to others.  We were very blessed.  We have been home with Chaltu just over 2 months, her transition has been pretty easy and our transition of becoming parents is coming along!!  The balance of work and motherhood is still a challenge for me, but I am learning.

So Duane and have been talking about doing it again, while I understand we have only been home 2 months, we all know how long the paperwork process takes and we would prefer if we are going to do this again to get started sooner rather than later.  But we keep flipping back and forth, do we do it again?
If we do, where? ET again, another country? domestic waiting child, what age, siblings? All the same questions come creeping back up! Then there is the financial aspect to it all, we now have a child who is in private school, so we have to think about that as well. 
I really do want that big family, I want Chaltu to have siblings that live with her and that are not just a distant memory, I want to adopt again, but I want it to be right!  I would love to hear from those of you that have adopted again, your thoughts, did you go older, younger, same country.  What Country's out there are in need of parents?  I will say we are not looking to adopt an infant, this we know (unless it was a sibling match).  Any thoughts, info...please either comment or send me an email!!

Saturday, February 11, 2012

Her Past

Chaltu is sharing a lot about her life in Ethiopia, seemed to be our dinner conversation almost every night this week.  It is wonderful to hear her recount these memories.  Duane and I are in flux of how far to take our questions for her.  Currently I am very reserved when it comes to probing, really just letting her talk.  However we are really wanting to show her pictures of her family (from our trip) to ensure we know who everyone is and record their names properly so we never have to worry about her forgetting them.  But what do we show her, all the photos? the photos with us there? She is very happy in speaking about her family and seems very happy here with her new family, we just don't want to upset that balance.  She finally seems comfortable talking about her first mom and knows that we want her to, I think she was a bit scared to do that at first, but when she does I am quick to acknowledge and encourage her to talk about her/them.  I would love any advice here, what has worked...not worked...just your thoughts!

On a second note she is doing so well! School is really coming along, although I feel her teacher thinks we should be doing more for her with ESL/ELL, but we just have not been able to find anyone outside of school to do this.  I think her english is coming along brilliantly so I am not too worried about it!  I mean really she has been acing her spelling test and can tell you not only how to spell the words but what they mean! So...going to keep on keeping on!

well off to get ready for basketball (unless the snow makes them cancel)