Lighter shade of blue

Well, I do feel a bit better today, not because WH called but just pulling up my boot straps and moving forward.  Thanks all for the comments!  Our caseworker and I were exchanging emails and I did let her know she could call me anythime now with that court date, day or night, that I was having a tough week and we needed to go ahead and get that lined up!!  She asked if I wanted to set up a check in call, I said no thanks, because if you call my number and it is to tell me you know nothing more...I will not be happy!!! I appreciate her willingness to talk to me but I think I get all I need with you all!!!

I ordered an Amharic CD/workbook for learning the language and got it today.  it is by Simple Language for adoptive families- figured that my hourish commute every day could be better spent by learning the language!  I have friends at work that speak Amharic so I can practice with them and then husband and I will start speaking it to each other aswell!!  Should be fun to see what this old brain can absorb!

Feeling Blue

I feel blue tonight, I look at her picture and wonder what she did today, what are options to do there? I have absolutely no clue, did she play? does she get read to, learn songs? I am not sure, I don't know her daily routine.  I call her my daughter but I have no idea if she laughs out loud or quietly.  Does she have a natural artistic ability or is she a problem solver.  Will she like her hair up, down, braided...is she loud or soft spoken.  I want her here, I want to know her, I am tired of being in love with my thoughts of her. Waiting sucks, it is gut wrenching and I hate it.  My husband was blue this weekend his thoughts were, yeah it sucks for us, but we know we are going to be with her, she has no idea she has a mommy and daddy waiting, does she lay awake at night thinking no one ever comes to take me, does she worry no one wants her, talk about gut wrenching, my girl could be crying tonight thinking that all her friends leave and they get celebrations but she never gets to...that SUCKS. I HATE waiting but more so I HATE her not knowing.  Please WH call me tomorrow with a court date, call me...but more important tell her, give her hope, let her know she will be the one celebrated soon. 

Distractions!

Well, we had an earthquake today and now a hurricane coming...so this week is going to fly by and I have begun to stalk my phone a lot less and trying to move forward as we wait for the court call!! 
Turns out CC was at the Horizon House at the end of July for a coffee ceremony and a parent sent me a blurry picture of her sweet face!!  I cannot tell you how thrilled we were to get it, once I opened it tears would not stop- it was my sweet girl- she looked happy (yeah blurry pic and all) she is being so loved on and I am glad!  My latest thoughts...her transition to HH should be pretty good, she goes there for these ceremony's probably knows Mulat and some of the Nannies.  She gets to be part of a HAPPY celebration of goodbyes to her friends to "new parents" she is old enough to understand and soon it will be her that is being celebrated!  I think all of this will help in her transition, not that it will be easy, but I think all of this makes it EASIER!
I am hopeful for a court date soon as it opens, I am trying to be realistic, but I just want what I want!!

Well we have her roomed almost finished! See below- spoiled already!! I am having fun!!!

To stalk or not...

Friday is the official closing date of the courts in Ethiopia, so we wait....but here is my question, since not everything shuts down everyday, does that mean I could still get a call for a court date in October? I think it has to mean that because if they feel confident that we will see some Oct court dates and the courts do not reopen until October 11th and they see cases on October 12th...they have to call me between now and then.  While this news is GREAT, I was creating a silver lining around the cloud of closing time frame of not having to stalk my phone...but I guess I still should!  Did anyone last year get called when the courts were closed? I have reached out to our caseworker but cannot seem to get a straight answer...yes I know it could be November, December...blah blah blah, I know it could be forever, I know you have to tell me the worst possibility, but just for once just for today can you tell me the best possibility, or at least all possibilities!  So do I stalk or not???

We were glad to have received an update on our Little CC (we asked some medical questions) she got glasses!  I am hoping for a new picture (yeah right!)  she is still in the orphanage so we were a bit shocked that they gave her glasses, but very glad!  As most of you  may know she is blind in one of her eyes, so the glasses are protective for the "good" eye. 

well for tonight I can quit stalking email and my phone! I will rest until tomorrow!