How do you miss someone you do not even know? Maybe miss is the wrong word? Long for maybe? What I do know is that I want you home with us, I want our family complete with you in it. I want to make sure you did your homework, you had a good day at school, that your eating vegetables...
I have images of Chaltu helping you to learn english while you help her to hone her soccer skills.
I can imagine the two of conspiring against your dad and I to get your way for movie night! I think about the mother/son nights we will have.
I want to know your favorite color, what kind of doctor do you want to be? The learning stage is fun, challenging and always surprising!
Please God let him know, give him a peace, we are coming. We will be there. He will be home with us soon. This time next year we will be going to both soccer games, both parent conferences...I will be making enough rice to feed an army (an army of 2!).
I love you R and soon I will be able to show you that.
Congratulations... You all are now a part of the HONY Family ...
ReplyDeleteThank you! What an amazing family to be part of!
DeleteI think it's wonderful, what HONY has enabled you to do. And I need to beg you, please take the pre-adoption photos of the kids off of the HONY site before they are used by other bloggers or media. With one click, those photos can be copied and downloaded by anyone without your permission. Those photos and their stories before they came to you are their stories, and it is so important for adopted kids to have the ability to choose when, where, and how their stories are told...for their sense of self-identity, their feelings of trust of other people, etc. Think of your daughter at 14...perhaps a mean peer finds the photo, prints it out and uses it to taunt her at school. I'm not exaggerating. This happened to my niece, it can happen to anymore. You keep her physically safe everyday. Please also keep her emotionally safe.
ReplyDeleteBritta,
DeleteI appreciate your concern, but our daughter is our daughter. We have been a family for 2 years. I know what is good for my child. I have a love for her that no one could ever touch. I am fully aware of what adopted children need. I understand that there is a cruel world out there, but what you should also know is that not all adopted children are the same. They all heal their wounds in different ways. One technique that may be good for one child may not be good for another. We take cues from our daughter on everything we do. So while I know you are well intentioned, don't place judgement upon our family. You only know a small part of a journey of our life. You have no idea what our daughter is comfortable with and what she is not comfortable with. You have no idea the daily conversations that I have with her. I have learned as a mother (not sure if you are one or not) but to NOT judge anyway a child is being raise (of course not including abuse) we are all different people and it takes all these ways to raise our children, we should encourage one another and learn from one another, but don't judge and don't assume you know about situations. Again I do not mean any of this offensively as I know your heart is in a good place, just know that my daughter is safe and secure with our family.
I'm not a parent. I am an adoptee. So, let me say again that I love what you and your husband are doing. I was an older kid who had been through several foster homes. I love my family very much. My niece is also adopted and a teenager now. I'm sure you are a great parent. And let me share with you that one of the things that I love the most about my mom is that she always let me tell my own story in my own words and only if I wanted to. I remember being at some neighborhood outdoor party, and someone on the block asked about me and she very quietly and confidently told the person that "it is not my story to tell. Ask Britta." She had already talked to me about what I could say if I wanted to protect my own privacy and told me that she would always back me up. My mom always saw all of us as our own people, adopted and bio kids with our own stories that were not hers to share. The only thing I showed up with when I was ten was some clothes and my story. I grew out of the clothes but she let me keep my story. Maybe your daughter specifically asked you to post her picture (the one in front of the pink wall, the one that HONY says is from the orphanage.) And maybe she still wanted it posted even after you cautioned her about how the internet works, and how she didn't need to if she didn't want to but she really wanted her whole story told on the internet right now in her life so she insisted. Maybe. But Richard isn't even your child yet. Are you allowed to post his picture and story even with his face blocked out before he is actually your child? Again, you seem like great parents. But for adoptees, this stuff is important. And it doesn't often get talked about. If you're curious about our perspective after we are all grown up, check out the Land of Gazillion Adoptees Facebook page. Perhaps get another point of view.
ReplyDeleteNew follower from HONY. So happy you get to bring Richard home! I pray that your family will have much happiness together.
ReplyDelete