Tuesday, October 25, 2011

How precious

We said goodbye to our girl 3 days ago.  I miss her so much- her adorable gait, how when she would see us walk through the gate each day- the smile on her face would expand and she would run and jump in our arms and hug and kiss us! 
Saying goodbye was even harder that I thought.  We had one of the nannies translating and I was doing ok- a bit teary but not to bad, then I asked the nanny to ask CC if she wanted to ask us anything before we left or tell us anything...she did, she said tell them I love them and will miss them...I LOST it, I mean did exactly what I should not have done...even the nanny started to cry, we were all a mess.  But, I was able to pull it together for about two minutes to walk back to the room. 
But on a GREAT note, she is being so well taken care of, I have not one single worry of the love, care and nurturing she is receiving, they are absolutely amazing there.
We do have a lot to do to prep for her arrival, so this time will probably go by very fast!
In the interim we will look at her pictures, videos and continue to daydream about our little princess!! We are sending her cards and packages as much as possible! There are so many wonderful families willing to help! Thank you all in advance! This is such an amazing community!!

Friday, October 21, 2011

Saying Goodbye

We have been at Horizon House now for 4 days, while there is so much to tell and I will at some point, right now I cannot sleep.  I am exhausted, after playing with 20 kids today and the altitude I am beat, but here I am awake.  Tomorrow we say goodbye to our girl.  Every time I think about this I begin to cry.  Getting to know her has been such a delight.  The first 2 days she came to us readily, lovingly, even running into our arms, she hung around us all day, was quiet, but happy.  Day 3 she opened up a bit more around us with her friends here, we also were able to spend one on one time with her and played some games we brought and she had a lot of fun. But today, she was completely herself ( I like to think), she was very happy to see us,was not afraid to be a little grumpy with us, talked a lot with her friends, did not get jealous when we played with other kids, when we played our games again, she was very comfortable completely cheating so she could win.  In other words she was relaxed, she was bonding, she knew that if we played with another child we would still love and hug on her.  That she could mimic english words and if she messed them up we would not make fun of her.  Now tomorrow we have to tell her goodbye, she already knows what is happening we sorta had this conversation yesterday with one of the nannies translating.  But tomorrow is reality on Sunday Mommy and Daddy will not walk through the gate to greet her in the morning.  This just sucks can I say, I mean seriously sucks.  I know there are a lot of you who have been through this and you understand and even those that haven't been through it well we knew it would suck before doing it.  It just bugs me, she is old enough to understand but how does she know we will really come back, I know we will but does she? I just want to call the US Embassy and tell them off, tell them to quit making this so damn difficult on the children, the parents...it is stupid (yes I know why and all the blah blah crap) today I don't care about any of that, because tomorrow I have to convince my little girl without upsetting her, letting her see me upset or anything else that will traumatize her that I will be back to get her, that she is coming home to live with us soon. So tonight I lay awake and listen to the sounds of her life the dogs barking, the horns honking, the loud music and know that this is the last night that she is just a block away from me and that this time tomorrow I will be boarding a plane.

Thursday, October 6, 2011

10 days...

We will be getting on a plane in 10 days!  I am so emotional it is crazy! My co-workers said I am just as hormonal as a pregnant woman in her last month!  I am crying about everything (seriously, during the X-Factor last week I kept crying- yes Duane is laughing at me) I am forgetting everything else, I cannot sleep....I am a wreck!  BUT I am super happy so I am a happy wreck.
We are trying to figure out what else do we need to do...I keep checking that all of our paperwork is ready(ready for what you ask? I guess that it is ready to travel!), I am going to start packing tomorrow.  I am celebrating every day at this point...two weeks until we fly, two weeks until we meet her, two weeks until we go to court....not looking forward to this Saturday that will be two weeks until we leave here...UGH that I am dreading.

My sister is coming up here the week after we get back to help with whatever else we need done on the house (she is a organizational nut!) then a friend is throwing me a shower which will be a blast! 
It is really happening I am actually going to be a mom...OMG!

Well back to making friendship bracelets, I am taking these with us, there are special ones for CC, Duane and myself (that have our names) but thought I would make a bunch to give to the kids as well! 

10 days and then the blogging will take on a whole new wait, worry, freak out...