Monday, February 21, 2011

Adopting from where we were called...

When my husband and I decided to adopt (almost a year ago) there was very little discussion of where we were going to adopt from.  There was discussion but we knew we were called to Ethiopia, everything pointed to that Country.  As we have been telling people throughout the past 8 months we have had some surprises, some people were concerned with the interracial piece, but nothing that I did not expect.  Overall people were very supportive.  Then it came this weekend, I got myself into a conversation that wanted to make me explode...

I was at work and talking with one of my subordinates  ( I specify this to that you all understand why I did not blow a gasket!) and he was unaware that I was adopting, so as I was telling me he said "Please tell me you are adopting in the US" and I said no we are adopting from Ethiopia.  He then went on to tell me that -I was wrong for doing that, that we should take care of our "own kind" first- I replied that ALL children that are orphans need a home and that human beings are "our kind", but he kept going...stating that all these people who adopt internationally are WRONG that we do not need to worry about other Countries children.  I just stood there in awe, I could not believe what I was hearing, he wasn't irate or heated, but just so matter of fact about it.  Being this was occurring at work and I am his boss, I turned and walked away. 
I just don't understand how people can be so closed minded.  Everyone has a calling when it comes to children, some people don't want children, some want 10, some will adopt, some will only birth and some will do both. When it comes to adoption you do choose, you choose country, health, age, siblings or not...it is so hard to make those choices it is not as easy as when you get pregnant.  So for people to judge where your going to adopt your children...
I am still fired up about this and need to move on, it is his issue not mine but...I don't do well with stupidity!

4 comments:

  1. Good for your for keeping your cool and doing your best to present your point of view in a rational way. At the end of the day I have a feeling there will be several future conversations where people 'agree to disagree.' My goal is not to shrink away from advocating for my children. I tend to avoid conflict and I never want my kids to think they need to secretive or ashamed about their background. Again, kudos to you.

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  2. gosh - i would be so ticked. but i agree often those conversations are better dismissed lol

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  3. I look forward to many future intellectual discussions with others once my boys come home.... cough cough........

    Yes, Mr. Door Repairman asked why I didn't go through the foster system to adopt in this country.

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  4. Hi,

    I cannot tell you how many times this has happened to us. We have one son adopted domestically and the other internationally. When people hear about the son we adopted domestically, I will often hear "yea, i don't know why people have to be all "angelina jolie." then i inform them my other son is from Ethiopia. (insert foot in mouth, you jerk!) adoption is beautiful however it happens.

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