The other night I shared with Chaltu why I loved her, what a neat experience. She laughed and giggled the whole time and was quite embarrassed. But what was really neat is last night I asked her why I loved her and she repeated a few of the things back and giggled again. I am so glad she knows all the reasons I love her!
however just so you all know that our life is not picture perfect, she did get in "trouble" for the first time last week!!! No dessert, it was nothing major but she had been slightly pushing my buttons all night and then she hit the jackpot!! She was a bit bummed but really moved on fairly quickly. Not a lot effects her, which is a bit sad as I worry that she has been through so much that she has such a super tough shell now she does allow her emotions to take over sometimes. Maybe in this world that is a good thing...who knows! I don't want to analyze it to much that is for sure!!
Her school is going really well, her teacher called her "extremely gifted" and said when the english takes off she is going to be a force to be reckoned with! We see it and it is pretty cool! Speaking of her language, it is getting better and better we are still looking for an ESL tutor with no luck.
She will be starting basketball next week which is really exciting and I think I am going to put her in swim lessons as well. Her socialization is coming around, last week she started saying goodbye to her friends at school versus them just saying it to her and she staring at them!! We also have our first birthday party next week! At Chuck E Cheese!! wish us luck!! It is cute though as she is so excited to buy a present for the little girl!! She said "mommy, sook (store) most beautiful baby" I said absolutely!!
Our routine is settling in, although she hates when we work and is so excited at the rare moments we are all together, last night was one of those and she was so excited and just kept hugging us both and having all 3 of us hug!
I promise to take some pictures this week! As everyone is asking!!
Saturday, January 28, 2012
Saturday, January 21, 2012
Finally an update!
Yes, I have not been the blogger I once was, I have not commented, written, almost forgot I had this!! Not really we are just so busy that I typically do not have a minute to sit and do!
Chaltu is just amazing, she has been home 1 month and 1 week and while I kept thinking the other shoe was going to drop and everything was going to go crap, it hasn't and I really do not think that it will.
It is interesting though she has not gotten in trouble yet...now this is not because we think that she can do not wrong, (I refuse no matter how adorable to have a bratty child). But she really does not test those limits. however; she did almost get there this week! But it is with such small stuff, truly it is about her pace, 90% of the time this girl is a fast mover, she runs EVERYWHERE, except when it comes to washing her hands, brushing her teeth, getting into bed...you know the usual kid stuff and at night after asking her 42 times to do something my patience wears thin! She asked me what trouble was and was I going to hit her? So I explained to her that I would not hit her, but what trouble could mean and when she realized that she might not be able to watch Jungle Book 2 (we just call it Mowgli around here) well she really understood it! Not to say that her pace is quickening but now she can tell the difference in my voice.
One of the biggest things that I learned this week is that I am truly her role model (I know duh I am her mom) but she is really looking to me for total guidance and how to maneuver through all this new. I learned this on 2 occasions one with her communication at school, she is doing very well at school but not socializing too much, so we had a talk about this and I really encouraged her to start talking to the girls in her class, the next day I received a great email from her teacher that she was talking and asking for help!!! She is also very aware of what I wear and what I look like...meaning I need to make sure that I don't always look like I rolled out of bed, not that I do but the month has taken it's toll on me. While I will also put the emphasis on the inside not the outside, there is still a huge importance of how you are presenting yourself and the way it makes you feel! She is really looking to me to shape her moves right now and I need to make sure I am helping her through that!
The hard part right now...Duane and I work opposite schedules- I am days, he is evenings, I am off wed/sun he is off fri/sat. For logistical purposes this is awesome, he takes her to school, I pick her up, we don't have to worry about a baby sitter...But I miss him! and not in a way of I want more of him without Chaltu, but just I want to see him. We also only have a snippet of family time a couple of hours on Friday and maybe Saturday. It is hard, it is hard in the evenings to be a "single parent", it is hard trying to relay all the cool stuff she is doing, it is hard not to see each other. If we make changes to our schedules it will cause more difficulties in the long run, so for now it is what it is and we need to get through it, but boy I wish something wonderful would happen to change these things!
this is where we are right now! In case I have not mentioned it enough, my Chaltu is an amazing smart girl, who is my hero and I could not be any luckier to have her as my child! Leaving you all with a quote from her this week...
"mommy I have had 4 homes 2 Woliso and 2 in Ethiopia (confuses this) but this is HOME"
Chaltu is just amazing, she has been home 1 month and 1 week and while I kept thinking the other shoe was going to drop and everything was going to go crap, it hasn't and I really do not think that it will.
It is interesting though she has not gotten in trouble yet...now this is not because we think that she can do not wrong, (I refuse no matter how adorable to have a bratty child). But she really does not test those limits. however; she did almost get there this week! But it is with such small stuff, truly it is about her pace, 90% of the time this girl is a fast mover, she runs EVERYWHERE, except when it comes to washing her hands, brushing her teeth, getting into bed...you know the usual kid stuff and at night after asking her 42 times to do something my patience wears thin! She asked me what trouble was and was I going to hit her? So I explained to her that I would not hit her, but what trouble could mean and when she realized that she might not be able to watch Jungle Book 2 (we just call it Mowgli around here) well she really understood it! Not to say that her pace is quickening but now she can tell the difference in my voice.
One of the biggest things that I learned this week is that I am truly her role model (I know duh I am her mom) but she is really looking to me for total guidance and how to maneuver through all this new. I learned this on 2 occasions one with her communication at school, she is doing very well at school but not socializing too much, so we had a talk about this and I really encouraged her to start talking to the girls in her class, the next day I received a great email from her teacher that she was talking and asking for help!!! She is also very aware of what I wear and what I look like...meaning I need to make sure that I don't always look like I rolled out of bed, not that I do but the month has taken it's toll on me. While I will also put the emphasis on the inside not the outside, there is still a huge importance of how you are presenting yourself and the way it makes you feel! She is really looking to me to shape her moves right now and I need to make sure I am helping her through that!
The hard part right now...Duane and I work opposite schedules- I am days, he is evenings, I am off wed/sun he is off fri/sat. For logistical purposes this is awesome, he takes her to school, I pick her up, we don't have to worry about a baby sitter...But I miss him! and not in a way of I want more of him without Chaltu, but just I want to see him. We also only have a snippet of family time a couple of hours on Friday and maybe Saturday. It is hard, it is hard in the evenings to be a "single parent", it is hard trying to relay all the cool stuff she is doing, it is hard not to see each other. If we make changes to our schedules it will cause more difficulties in the long run, so for now it is what it is and we need to get through it, but boy I wish something wonderful would happen to change these things!
this is where we are right now! In case I have not mentioned it enough, my Chaltu is an amazing smart girl, who is my hero and I could not be any luckier to have her as my child! Leaving you all with a quote from her this week...
"mommy I have had 4 homes 2 Woliso and 2 in Ethiopia (confuses this) but this is HOME"
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Adopting "older" children
When we first started this process we had decided that we wanted a child/children no older than 4.5, as things moved on we decided to change that to an older child (feel free to read earlier blogs!). Wow what an amazing decision we made, this girl is AWESOME, the things we are experiencing with her being older is so much fun!!!
While the communication can be tough, we have all figured it out. To see her delight in so many new things is amazing.
There are things that babies just grow up and know as they are normal for them, we are getting to see her have these things for the first time!
The other night I was telling her about the Father/Daughter dance her school will have in February, she got so excited and we had to practice dancing! But then she realized she would need a dress, well she got 2 dresses from my in-laws so we ran upstairs and when she put one of them on ( I almost cried) she was so giggly and excited! It was the cutest things I have seen. This is just one of the many things that we have witnessed her seeing.
There is so much new for this girl and she understands it!
Of course I advocate any and all adoptions, everyone has their limits (lack of better word). But if you are considering older child adoption...it is a blast!!
While the communication can be tough, we have all figured it out. To see her delight in so many new things is amazing.
There are things that babies just grow up and know as they are normal for them, we are getting to see her have these things for the first time!
The other night I was telling her about the Father/Daughter dance her school will have in February, she got so excited and we had to practice dancing! But then she realized she would need a dress, well she got 2 dresses from my in-laws so we ran upstairs and when she put one of them on ( I almost cried) she was so giggly and excited! It was the cutest things I have seen. This is just one of the many things that we have witnessed her seeing.
There is so much new for this girl and she understands it!
Of course I advocate any and all adoptions, everyone has their limits (lack of better word). But if you are considering older child adoption...it is a blast!!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Monday, January 2, 2012
Grief comes in all forms
It has only been two weeks and 2 days since we have come back home, this I cannot believe. When I look at all that Chaltu has experienced and done in 2 weeks, I am amazed at this little girl.
The one thing we have not seen an out pour of is obvious grief. Her first few days here she wanted to listen to her Ethiopian music that they listened to daily at Horizon House. She has not asked for it since. She does randomly grab my cell phone and try to call one nanny in particular, but mentions not one name of the children she was with. She is VERY passionate about her Ethiopian food and she repeatedly talks about the colors of the ET flag. We have noticed that when we are talking to each other (Duane and I) or to others and she can pick up on key words (ET, orphanage, horizon house) she withdrawals a little bit and then often will start looking at pictures on my phone of all the kids. But she does not talk about any of it.
I cannot imagine what is going on in her mind. She is a very smart 7 year old (not so sure about that age, but that will be another post) so sometimes I think she knows we are her forever family and then other times I think well we are her 5th caregiver in 3 years, what makes us any different.
Once her english improves and we can start talking better, I hope she will feel comfortable for it to come out (her grief). Chaltu had been through so much prior to being relinquished and then was in the orphanage for 2 years and 2 months before meeting us, I am sure she grieved there over her family. But I know she misses ET I am just not sure what all she misses.
On a lighter note, we went into Ulta yesterday to buy some hair products and she broke her first bottle of nail polish all over the floor! and the proceeded to wipe her hands all over mine so we were both covered in bright red nail polish!!
The one thing we have not seen an out pour of is obvious grief. Her first few days here she wanted to listen to her Ethiopian music that they listened to daily at Horizon House. She has not asked for it since. She does randomly grab my cell phone and try to call one nanny in particular, but mentions not one name of the children she was with. She is VERY passionate about her Ethiopian food and she repeatedly talks about the colors of the ET flag. We have noticed that when we are talking to each other (Duane and I) or to others and she can pick up on key words (ET, orphanage, horizon house) she withdrawals a little bit and then often will start looking at pictures on my phone of all the kids. But she does not talk about any of it.
I cannot imagine what is going on in her mind. She is a very smart 7 year old (not so sure about that age, but that will be another post) so sometimes I think she knows we are her forever family and then other times I think well we are her 5th caregiver in 3 years, what makes us any different.
Once her english improves and we can start talking better, I hope she will feel comfortable for it to come out (her grief). Chaltu had been through so much prior to being relinquished and then was in the orphanage for 2 years and 2 months before meeting us, I am sure she grieved there over her family. But I know she misses ET I am just not sure what all she misses.
On a lighter note, we went into Ulta yesterday to buy some hair products and she broke her first bottle of nail polish all over the floor! and the proceeded to wipe her hands all over mine so we were both covered in bright red nail polish!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)